He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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