Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize