i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
