I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
