and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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