Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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