the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
