I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
