is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
