his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
