A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
