I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
