After last night, I could never be a politician.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
