It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
