I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
