Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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