I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
