brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
