Pappa wants mamma naked
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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