he puts the penis in happiness.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize