Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
