Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You're a waste of cheezeits
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Randomize
