okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
i am craving dick and cupcakes
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
