omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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