I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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