Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
