wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
