Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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