If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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