Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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