I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Randomize
