ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
