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My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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