don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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