i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
