Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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