Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
A+ Viking dick
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
