hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
