Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
