I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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