There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
