you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
