Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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