im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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