apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
