You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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