was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
