dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
