Sponge bath it is.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Randomize
