im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
