i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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