That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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