she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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