You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize