He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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