Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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