I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
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