DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
