i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
