Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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