hotel room ftw
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
