I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
