the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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