Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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