She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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